Set Free

I was named after my grandmother.
That’s what I thought. That’s what they said. That’s what they made me believe.
Born to an alcoholic father and victimized mother,
I crawled though my infancy on my knees.
When I thought I would finally get up,
Little did I know that I wouldn’t be the Audrey that I used to be.
The starless cold night,
The ear-piercing loud banging on the door,
The slitting of my father’s throat,
The fainting in the living room couch,
The waking up in the car,
And the discovery that I was raped.
Raped by the two giant monsters. Raped by the murderers of my father. Raped by my own fate.
People say that I was lucky to survive.
Their ignorant eyes were too blind to see that I died that night.
Mama said to continue with studies.
I loved mama and did what she told.
But inside of me, a black hole was developing.
Spreading its malice through every inch of my soulless body, slowly making its way to my heart.
When I would die, they might say I died suddenly.
They wouldn’t know I was the one who wanted to put the lid on her own coffin.
At 22, there I will be, finally in peace, set free.

La Croyante

 

 

PS: This poem is not related to me in any way. Pure fiction.